Shopping Date
by ALargeBear
Summary: A simple date leads to Rin confronting old, nasty thoughts about herself.


The skirts were much too short, the edges lined with too many frills, and the colors a cascade of uncomfortable pastels. Each new piece of clothing handed Rin's way was suited for people that were not her. That's what she kept telling herself as she stood just outside a changing room in some popular clothing store that she had never seen herself ever setting foot in alone.

"Kayo-chin?" Rin gnawed on her lip and sighed as Hanayo handed her another skirt.

"What's wrong?"

Rin looked around as if making sure the coast was clear before looking back to Hanayo. "I don't think these will look very good on me."

She didn't want to question Hanayo's choices. Who knew her better than someone she'd been with since childhood? This being one of their first official dates only helped in amplifying the guilt of doubting. But she looked better in plain t-shirts and shorts. Growing up that was something that her classmates would never let her forget.

Hanayo's expression dropped for only a moment before picking back up into a soft, well-worn smile. "Well, I think they'd look super cute on you."

The care made it hard for Rin to say no, but subtle orange of the outfit brought back memories of little boys laughter. "They'd look even cuter on you."

A quick deflection, but Hanayo couldn't be fooled. Rin knew that.

"You won't know if you don't try it on." Hanayo pushed in a step closer. Not pushing or forcing, just hoping for a breakthrough.

Rin's back was against the changing room door, but her eyes were down at her feet. Hanayo's care and earnest smile were always capable of turning her to mush. "I just have to try it on?"

Hanayo put her arms around Rin's waist and pulled in for a hug. "That's all. You don't have to buy them if you don't want too. I think they'd look really cute on you."

Rin couldn't reciprocate the affection with hands full of clothes, as much as she wished she could. When Hanayo pulled back she turned around, opened the door, and was ushered in by familiar, eager hands on her back. A subtle click and she was alone.

The big mirror up against the wall, the small bench off to the side, and the clothes in her hand were the only company she had. This was all for Hanayo. Was the mantra that she repeated to herself over and over as small bits of confidence were plucked from the sweet words said minutes before. They weren't enough to conquer years old fears, Rin had accepted that it was something that may never happen, but alone in a changing room, it may have been enough to try.

Hands trembled and palms were sweating when Rin found some courage. She looked herself in the mirror dressed in some old t-shirt and sweatpants that she'd bought who knows how long ago. Not cute, but fitting. Her cat-eared beanie was the only cute thing she would allow herself, but that was it.

She looked at the short skirt and frilly top hanging on the wall. If she were with anyone else, the door would have been opened and she'd have left without a second thought, but this was for Hanayo. Weak fingers fumbled at the bottom of her shirt as she gingerly pulled it over her head. Deep breaths were taken as those same trembling fingers slid off the sweatpants. Halfway there, was what she told herself to stop running.

The skirt was a soft orange that Rin wasn't sure what the proper name was. Holding it in front of her face she wondered why Hanayo cared so much. She was the cute one, not Rin, and what was so wrong with that? She didn't have to wear these types of things to be who she was. That wasn't the point, and deep somewhere, Rin knew that. She trusted Hanayo was always looking out for her.

With too much fidgeting and struggling the skirt was on. It sat midway down her thighs and Rin tried her best to pull down the sides as far as she could. The top was less worrisome, but the odd frills weren't something she'd ever worn before, and she didn't know what the style was supposed to be. It fit tight and didn't have to room she had grown so accustomed to.

Her eyes avoided the mirror throughout the entire process. She didn't need to see herself, already knowing what the end result would be without taking a single glance. The clothes would look weird on her and they'd go right back on the shelf when taken off. It was a foregone conclusion that didn't need to be considered. So she didn't think twice.

She had done what Hanayo had asked and tried. It lead to the results she'd expected, and she wouldn't even have to look to know. It was dumb and out of place, the faster she could get them off and back into her usual dress, the better. She'd have to tell Hanayo that it didn't look right.

"How does it look, Rin?"

Hanayo's voice shook Rin from her foregone conclusions. "It. It looks weird," she sputtered.

"Really?" Hanayo asked.

Rin didn't answer. She didn't want to turn to the mirror and look. Not wanting to second-guess thoughts that she had already told herself was true in grade school. Because she couldn't lie to Hanayo.

"Can I come in and see?"

Time passed, but Rin wasn't sure how much as she stood with feet stuck on the floor and eyes wide. Her mouth was dry as she tried to say no, but couldn't.

"Please, can I see it?"

The question was gentle, coaxing Rin out of a near panic. She couldn't form words, but her arms worked. With a hesitant hand, she reached over and undid the lock. The click offering Hanayo the assurance she needed to enter.

Hanayo slid inside and shut the door behind her. Walking toward Rin with an inspecting eye.

It happened once or twice before. These attempts by Hanayo to get Rin to wear something so not like her. She'd been able to say no and push away before, afraid of a past she let haunt her. But things were different. It was harder to say no to the girl that you loved, and Rin didn't want to disappoint. Not after they'd gotten so close. But she could also find confidence in that new love, and it kept her from sinking into thoughts that had been a plague on her mind since she was little.

"Did you look in the mirror?"

Rin shook her head no.

"I think you should look at it yourself."

"Can't you tell me what you think first?" Rin asked with her eyes shut as Hanayo turned to toward the mirror.

"I want you to see yourself first."

The hand on her back that rubbed small circles was what Rin pulled her courage from. Gingerly, Rin opened her eyes.

Just like she thought, the skirt was much too short. The colors didn't suit her and the top didn't fit right on her frame, but it didn't feel like someone else. Rin looked in the mirror and saw herself in these clothes that were so obviously not to her tastes. It was her in those clothes. They were ugly and she still squirmed and grabbed at the edges of the skirt, but it didn't feel foreign.

"It looks dumb," Rin said, staring at herself in that skirt without the familiar tremble in her hands.

Hanayo moved her hand from Rin's back to her shoulder, offering a squeeze. "You're right Those are a pretty ugly combination, but how do they feel."

"The skirt's too short, and I don't think this shirt fits me right." Rin tugged at both again, making a show of it for Hanayo.

"Does it." Hanayo hesitated, wondering how far she could push her luck before pressing on. "Does it feel weird."

"A little."

Rin knew that Hanayo knew. There was never any secrets between them and Rin wanted to always keep it that way. As that hand on her shoulder slid down and grabbed at one of her own, she squeezed. Taking the care found in the small gesture.

Hanayo squeezed back. "Would you try doing this again?"

"Not today." Rin shot back but was quick to speak back up. "But maybe we could go on another date like this."

Hanayo kept Rin's hand in her own as she placed a quick kiss to Rin's cheeks. "Thank you for trying these on, Rin. We'll have to go on another date like this soon."


End file.
